In my early twenties I was registered as disabled.
This was during my constant hospital admissions. I was no longer able to work or study which I’ve mentioned deeply affected me.
I felt too young to be disabled I didn’t want to be called it, I rejected that title, I guess in some ways my body accepted that title, my body deserved that title at the time. I just did not want to accept it because I felt embarrassed about it.
For a long time I’ve felt trapped by my body held back, held down, held hostage. My body was my plague not my protection it destroyed me, it destroyed itself.
Dealing with a physical condition is challenging to say the least. It made me have to use my mind because that was all I had that was the only part of me that was somewhat free, it was the only escape I had, I had to try and switch my mind off of my pain and bring my focus onto something else, which is extremely difficult and isn’t always achievable.
Learning to do my makeup was a huge distraction for me and the more I done it the more I grew a passion for it, I’ve never wanted to be a makeup artist though I just wanted to be able to do my own makeup.
Now when I’m in pain if it’s bearable I will do my makeup as it distracts me and cheers me up. I am in pain daily and I mean daily I’m not saying that figuratively I mean that literally, whether it’s sicklecell pain or fibromyalgia pain it’s daily, so having something that distracts me and brings me joy is so necessary, it’s apart of self care doing something just for you because it makes you happy and isn’t hurting anyone else and we need more of that.
My #sicklecellfamily I continue to pray for your health, happiness, hope and strength Alhumdulilah
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